Many moms extremely troubling question: whether to put your baby to sleep with them or better, so he slept in his crib? The question is really very important. What are the pluses and minuses of both options are sleeping, how to wean a child to sleep with parents?
Son - an essential element for human life. For health, perhaps, he means nothing less than the food.
In sleep the body is resting, recovering from a stress accumulates vitality. They say that children are growing up in a dream.
But how to decide where is best to sleep baby: the mummy at the side or in your cozy little nest?
After the birth of each child are often ready a comfortable bed and beautiful.
So far on this issue there is no single solution. The views and pediatricians, and psychologists in this regard often diverge. Of course, the choice is yours.
After all children are different: some quiet to sleep, only when falling asleep with her mother, the other - in a separate bed from day one.
It is to experiment and put a child in a crib. If your baby does not sleep - means, to put next to him, and he suddenly calmed down?
When considering any matter, there are always pluses and minuses, the views of the pros and cons. Let us, together we shall understand, that it is better specifically for you?
Arguments for sleeping together
Let us turn to nature. In all animals in natural conditions, sleeping together with calves - standard of living, physiological needs.
People - mammals, so why all should be otherwise - because the nature of everything has been thought for many, many years ago.
Should I change the age-old traditions in the spirit of modern civilization?
Anthropologists have found that sleeping together is practiced in most cultures of the world - is an ancient and time-tested tradition for millennia.
So, let us details on the pros:
1. Kid, accustomed to for 9 months to the rhythm of my mother's breathing, the sound of her heart, being a mom in one bed, no doubt, feels almost like before - under protection.
That is, we provide a Tiny psychological comfort. Joint sleep strengthens the psyche of children, supports the credibility of the outside world, and inspires confidence.
Some psychologists believe that sleeping together in the future provide children mental health, self-esteem, lack of anxiety and depression.
2. For my mother, perhaps the main advantage is no need to jump up in the night, that they might take the hand of a crying baby and feed or comfort him.
Baby should be breast milk on demand, and most kids are actively suck at night.
In the end, mom gets complete rest, and the baby - easy access to food and mother's warmth.
In addition, the female organism is designed so that the maximum concentrations of prolactin - the hormone that leads to the development of milk - fall on the night.
And bodily contact with the baby stimulates these processes. Thus, the dream is shared according to the WHO (World Health Organization), a stimulator of breast-feeding.
3. Tactile stimulation is important both for the full development of the nervous system of the baby, and for the free operation of the respiratory center, and therefore co-sleep with their parents less and less Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS risk is reduced by several times).
When a child sleeps with his mother, his sleep is less deep.
Because of the shallow sleep better wake up and, therefore, easier to call for help, submit signals if something is not right.
4. Co-sleeping helps awaken maternal instincts. Mother develops intuition, she feels that the child should be at the moment.
In addition, a woman gets more positive emotions of motherhood, if her baby sleeps next to him.
5. Contact with the child during sleep reduces anxiety mothers (in fact increased anxiety - excessive stress, not going to benefit nursing woman), and also helps get rid of postpartum depression.
6. Child is easier to tolerate fear, typical of certain ages. So, first appears about 1-1,5 years - is the fear of losing her mother - and the kids go to my mother, as tails, not letting even the toilet.
Somewhere in 1,5-2 years there is fear of the dark. Kid does not want to be alone in a dark room. Many problems start with falling asleep.
If you notice in your baby such fears, it is necessary to find the cause of restless sleep of the child (refer to a psychologist or a neurologist).
Children who always slept with their parents, are usually easily and painlessly pass their first night terrors and shifted in their separate beds after 3 years.
7. It has been suggested that, in sharing the same dream, sleep cycles, and therefore easier to wake up her mother with a baby (and then mother and child as easily fall asleep), or to prevent the awakening of crumbs gentle stroking.
For the young child is characterized by mostly superficial, shallow sleep.
Baby's brain continues to grow and develop in a phase of shallow sleep. At this time the child controls, where his mother, whether it is close.
In that case, if mother and child sleep alone, the baby may appear a long deep sleep as a protective reaction to stress.
8. Co-sleeping helps to fill the lack of communication (especially mothers, leaving early for work).
9. Since thermoregulation of the child, especially a newborn, yet imperfect, you can be confident that side by side with you it does not freeze.
10. And the last argument: how positive emotions are mom and baby from the joint holiday, contact, skin to skin, the type of each other - not describe in words. This can only be felt.
If you put the baby in his crib, but he refuses to be there to protest, shouting and crying, take him to her, - all will be better.
It is not necessary in such a way to raise a child: "weep, and he goes to sleep" or "let the lungs develop.
Of course, the statute, the baby calms down and eventually fall asleep, but unmet need to be with her mother affect later in the form of long night weeping. And only need to put a child beside him.
Over time, these kids go quietly in their bed, because they need to successfully satisfy my mother.
Any psychologist will tell you that the unmet need grows into a complex, which is waiting for its implementation.
The arguments against co-sleeping
Benjamin Spock said that the child needed immediately, not only his own bed, but his own room.
His personal space to even the smallest child to create a complete identity and autonomy.
What are the disadvantages of a shared dream?
1. Some believe that babies always sleep with my father and mother, produces a psychological dependence on parents.
In fact, these children have the first 3 years a great need for parental attention, but gradually, as they grow older, everything falls into place, the baby needs changing.
And the children become as independent as peers.
2. Parents are afraid that the child, accustomed to sleep with them, then do not want to go to his bed.
Output is: you can put a child to sleep, and then shifted to his crib, and for the convenience of lift crib and brought up her close to her.
So we get more space, and at the same time, everyone will sleep in his place.
With regard to the reluctance to sleep in his bed, in children aged 2-3 years is the realization of his own ego. All my mother hears "I'll (a).
That is the blessed moment when you can offer the child "fix" their individuality, and now that "we are so big and independent," then it is time to have a separate sleeping place. And perhaps a child, even offers it first.
Care should be taken only on that kid, going to sleep in own bed, did not perceive it as punishment.
Never say to him: "Are you going to behave badly - you go to sleep in his bed," etc.
If the child is sleeping peacefully in her bed, whether you want to take him?
Perhaps, in such a situation would be better to exploit the situation and do not teach the baby to the parental bed.
If the crumbs convenient and comfortable, it did not worry, sleep separately and enjoy the tenderness of touch during the day.
3. There is a "popular" fear "overlay" of the child. Proved that the cerebral cortex mother is very sensitive to even the crumbs in a dream.
And if such cases are described, then the mothers under the influence of alcohol, sleeping pills or drugs or mentally unhealthy.
The only thing to note: if a woman is very tired - it is not necessary to pack crumbs next, better sleep arm in arm on another occasion, as in this case sleep mom can be quite profound.
Wings spout baby does not restrict the access of air, even if he utknetsya their mother in the chest.
If the mom before birth and were distinguished by a deep sleep after the birth of your baby sleep becomes very sensitive.
As pope, he has no maternal instincts, and he can hurt the crumbs, turning in his sleep.
So it is better to be sure to put the baby between them and the wall or each other and the edge of the bed.
But there is another danger to the child - rolled off the bed onto the floor. To avoid this, make a fence of pillows or a rolled-up blanket roll.
4. Parents' bed - it is not only a place to sleep, but the marriage bed.
Sleep in a room with a child imposes restrictions on the intimate relationships of parents, and sleeping together in the same bed - even more so.
For some, simply move away to the edge of the bed, for others it will only fit another room.
Output is from any situation: you can shift the baby in his crib, you can own to learn new places to love games.
Some shy, afraid that the baby may suddenly wake up and catch the parents at the wrong time.
But nothing wrong in this case does not happen: young children still do not understand, but if you have any questions for older children - you can discuss them later, and just stay with my child until he falls asleep again.
Sometimes a woman would be partitioned off as a baby from a spouse, avoiding sexual contact.
And if at first it may be due to simple fatigue, then over time - causing problems in the family.
And in any case we can not allow this major cause of discord was a baby, and for the pope, and that's how it will look.
A similar situation arises when the bed of the spouses not wide enough and dad "evicted", he has to sleep alone, what consciously or not he blames the child.
5. Some parents are afraid to spoil the crumb. Remember, co-sleeping is impossible to spoil the child.
If a kid wants to sleep with you - this is not a whim, this is - need.
Although some psychologists believe that children who are sleeping with adults, will grow more dependent, anxious, and infantile.
6. Hygiene. Well, breastfeeding baby can up his bed, a sheet and blanket, and for the older child is not necessary.
After all, the flora in the mother and child who is breastfed, the same.
7. Mom should not feel discomfort during sleep. Usually, if from the very beginning, from the first weeks of her mother sleeps with the child, this problem does not exist.
If the first month of each holds in his bed, then later mom needs time to get used to the fact that the baby beside her. Usually a couple of weeks my mother gets used and eventually sleep more.
How to make a safe sleeping together?
The surface on which the sleeping child, should be flat and firm enough.
Near the baby should not be pillows and blankets.
Do not lay a child between the parents - put a better edge. And that the child did not fall, the bed can fasten to the wall or make a roll of blankets.
They must not run down, in this case, deep sleep is similar to that for alcohol.
Remember that heat your body creates extra heating baby.
In order not to overheat the baby sleep in a joint, use at least a warm night clothes and blankets. Child does not have to swaddle.
This prevents him regulate body temperature, and the crumb can greatly sweat. In addition, it will be difficult to adjust to feeding, or simply inconvenient.
If mom big breasts, then sleep with the child should be especially careful.
It is better to provide a separate blanket for the baby: so it will be easier to discard it if you suddenly become hot.
Leave a night light turned on so that you woke up, could see the situation of the child.
How to wean a child to sleep with their parents
Wean the child to sleep in the parental bed should gradually. It is better if this process starts at the age of 2-3 years. The main thing - patience and desire.
Perhaps, this period is delayed for several months. Teach a child to sleep in separate bed will be easier if you use the following tips:
attract the child to choose their own beds, bed linen;
need to practice regularly sleep apart from their parents - for example, daily;
suggest to the child to sleep with a favorite teddy bear or a rabbit;
sing him a lullaby at night or read a story;
if a baby is afraid of the dark, while not close the door to his room, or turn on the nightlight;
crib where the baby sleeps, you can gradually move away from the parent: first, to the other wall, and then you can, and in another room;
Older children (3-4 years), we can arrange a "Celebration of resettlement, and so in the form of a game to transfer the child in his bed;
tell me baby, what are the big boys and girls, as he slept in their rooms;
And finally, be prepared to ensure that the child will come to you first.
In conclusion, I recommend not to rush to send your baby to sleep separately, if you see that he is not ready, if in his life witnessed major changes (the beginning of kindergarten, moving, birth of brother or sister).
Try in advance to arrange transfer of the child in his own bed for a few months before the proposed event or a few months after.
Trust your parental instincts and do as they see fit.
In any case, you're sleeping with her baby or separately, that he will always feel that you will support him and help at any time.
After all, confidence in the mother and father now gives confidence in the future!
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