Child tantrums under control

Many parents know the uneasy feeling one experiences during childhood tantrums. When you did not have their own children, you are probably not seen at the shop sobbing and stamping his feet baby, which Mom said terrible for two children, the word "no".

Hysterics - a real test for adults and for children. Parents are embarrassed and feel ashamed, especially if the child was made a row in a public place. Children at this moment, too, suffer confusion, anger and frustration.

Causes of child tantrums

Hysterics - a natural stage of child development. He simply learns self-control. Small children find it difficult to restrain emotions or express them in words. Therefore, in moments of anger, embarrassment or frustration, children often cry, cry, stamp their feet and even rush to the floor. Hysterics when, according to the baby, something goes wrong, when he wants to attract the attention of adults, or when he was just tired, hungry and feels helpless.

Almost all children aged 1-3 years occur hysterics. Some call this age of "terrible 2 years. After three years of hysteria are down because child learns to express his feelings. The children who found it difficult to describe their emotions words, tantrums may continue. They can occur in a later age, due to sudden changes and stress in the child's life.

Do not be surprised if your child has tantrums only occur in your presence. So he feels the strength you set the rules and restrictions. In addition, children try to show their feelings to people who you trust.

Can I prevent tantrums?

They can not completely prevent, but you can reduce the likelihood of their occurrence. Here are some tips:

* Ensure that your child is well rested, especially in front of a difficult day or an important event.
* As far as possible, stick to the regime of the day. Children - the Conservatives, it is important to know what to expect in the future.
* Do not wander too long, put your baby to bed on time. If you go on a trip, bring your favorite toys and books the child to entertain him.
* Encourage your child to express feelings in words. Can you tell a child some of the descriptions of feelings, for example, "I am very angry", etc.
* If possible, give your child the right choice. For example, if he does not want to swim, you can insist on its straightforward, and you can ask him what toys he wants to take to the bathroom.
* Before the change of activity give your child time to reorganize. He needs to switch to another activity. If approaching lunch, and the child is playing, to warn him that after 5 minutes will have to sit at the table.

What happened if hysterics?

What if nothing helps, and hysterical yet started? Here are some useful tips:

* Distract the child, switching his attention to something else: a new occupation, a toy or book. Can suddenly interrupt his words, like "Oh, look, that makes out she pussy. You can move away to another place, distracting the child with the words "But let's go out and look at the flowers. A joke or a funny mug, too, sometimes triggered.
* Try to remain calm. Cries and anger only make matters worse. The more attention you give hysterical child, the more likely it from happening again.
* Ignore the weak hysterics. Silently wait until the child stops screaming or Take him to another place where he can relax. If you go and be alone is impossible (for example, if you're in an airplane), hug a child. This will help him calm down.
* Sometimes hysteria can not be ignored. Here are examples of unacceptable behavior:

· Child pushes, beats the parents or other people

Child throws · dangerous items

· Child cries for a long time and calms

Take a breather, let your child cool. In children older than this period may last for many minutes, how many years of a child (eg, for 3-year-old child - 3 minutes).

What to do during the hysterics?

* Never punish a child for hysteria. In this case, it starts to accumulate in his anger and resentment, and it is harmful to health. Behave calmly and with understanding. With age, the child learns to better control their emotions.
* Do not praise, encourage the child for the fact that he stopped hysteria. Otherwise, he will arrange them on purpose to get what he wants.
* Do not try to reason with the child during tantrums. The logical explanation at this point is unlikely to help.
* Do not change the decisions already taken to calm the child. This will work once, but realized that with the help of hysteria can accomplish our goals, the child probably will take advantage of this and begin to manipulate you.

Teach your child to understand the word "no"

First, your baby cries, demanding to buy him a toy. Child older than "simply vital" fashionable jeans or going out with friends until midnight.

Parents are hard to master the art of saying "no". Child will go to any lengths to get her, and sometimes easier to make a concession. But do not be.

What you will encounter

Children continually check on the strength of parental authority. The older they become, the better they are able to persuade. However, children need a framework so that as they grow older they could feel safe. The ability to say "no" - an important component of the process of creating this safe zone.

You must first decide whether or not need to say "no". Try to understand why the child needed this or that thing. Ask yourself:

* Does your child need this toy or jeans? Maybe he just saw them on TV or from friends?
* Is it possible to compromise? It may be a good fit with generics? Another possible way - to offer a child a deal: let him through work at home compensates for the cost of your purchase.
* Does the friends of your child to do what he asks? Talk about it with their parents.
* Can a child be responsible for an act for which he requested permission?

Remember that:

* Tries to start detailed discussions in a situation where a child waits for an answer "yes", could lead to a quarrel.
* You are, first and foremost, a parent, and only then a friend. Do not blame yourself if the child is angry at you.
* Consent in one case and the denial of another - a good lesson in compromise for the child.
* Sometimes you can and think. Correct solution - a well-considered decision.

Older child or adolescent can try to explain his decision. Understanding the reasons for your refusal to help the child to change his point of view.

The explanations do not help in the case of a small child. It is better to simply eliminate the cause of the conflict.

If the child does not accept the answer "no"

For young children:

* Allow the child from the object, provoked hysteria. Bring your baby out of the store or go with him to another room.
* Talk with your child quietly until he calms down. If necessary, give your child a few minutes respite.
* Give your child an example of behavior by which he can explain to you what he wants:

o Politely ask
o Calmly to show that he (she) wants

For older children:

* Ask whether the child wait until the day of birth or other special occasion.
* Is the child to do some housework in exchange for a purchase?

Being a parent is not easy, and this will have to learn on the fly. It is important to vigorously defend its position. This will be a lesson for your child how important life values. Surplus of freedom will prevent your child learn responsibility, patience and compromise. Referring to a child "no", you may feel a tyrant, but to establish such a framework is very important that the child has grown a responsible person.
Rx Pennsylvania